Tips for Coaches (Gay or Straight) in Dealing with Their Teams
Dan Woog

• Recognize that lesbian and gay athletes exist. Don't assume that everyone on your team is straight. To think this way, simply recognize that every player on your team does not dream about dating or marrying the opposite sex; that this may be causing concern and worry – and watch your language! Never use words like “faggot” or “queer” to demean anyone, even on the other team. Create an open and accepting atmosphere. By speaking neutrally about homosexuality, you communicate that same-sex attraction is not the end of the world.
• Deal decisively with anti-gay slurs and actions. Of course you do not permit bias based on race and ethnicity; do the same for bias based on sexual orientation. Don't fear reprimanding a player for anti-gay prejudice (“What will my team think about my own sexuality if I stand up for gay people?”); coaches are in a unique position to teach about social justice and diversity. Most athletes want to respect their coaches for being good, respectful people – and those that don't, need role models who are.
• Understand that gay people are everywhere. If they're not on your team, they're among the men and women who provide medical services, write about your games, clean your uniforms and locker rooms, drive your buses...you get the idea. When you figure that one out of every four extended families has a gay or lesbian member – brother, sister, parent, grandparent, cousin, aunt, uncle, niece, nephew – you'll realize that virtually everyone knows someone who is gay.
• Remember that being lesbian or gay is natural. Despite popular myth, sexuality is an orientation, not a choice. The American Psychiatric Association and American Psychological Association agree that homosexuality is neither a mental nor an emotional disorder. Most gays and lesbians recognize their orientation at an early age; it is society's actions and values, not their own problem, that causes worry and anguish.